Rainy days have finally started, reminding us again that in one week it is actually December. Autumn is gradually loosing its significance, as we seem to be moving from summer to winter and then to summer again, completely skipping fall and spring time. At least here in the big city there is no such thing as a four season year any more. Of course it is still not so cold which I cannot complain about, as I love the combination of a rainy day with a nice temperature and the glow of the car lights in the wet asphalt while being inside a cozy cafe (unfortunately without my camera), blogging my random thoughts. It is when you have nothing specific to think about that you mostly think the most important things. And this was a “future” afternoon.

Well, I am surely not a good planner when it comes to these matters and I always followed the heart more than my logic. But there are moments that everything seems to be stalling and makes you think if you could have done better. Maybe with a bit of pre-planning. I don’t know. Given the nature of this blog, I will try to be as honest as possible but sometimes honesty gets misinterpreted and then I regret it. Future scares me a bit. Maybe it is called the 30’s crisis (which I should have overcome by now), or just the uncertainty that is lurking above the heads of all of my generation lately. I admit I have forgotten many of my “passions” over these last years, or at least I stopped being loud about them and continue keeping them in the shadows. That goes for relationships as well as dreams. Maybe it is because I am growing older and “mature” or maybe I got bored of trying. Or maybe I never really tried. This is definitely a limbo situation were I am neither on the one side nor on the other. Never certain for anything.

It is time for some changes, that is for sure. I don’t know when these changes will happen but they will. Cause even if I fight it, it will just happen on its own and then the impact will be much louder and hard. So for now the best thing is to enjoy this warm coffee, the soft music of the cafe, the background conversations, the clinging of the tea spoons inside the large cups, the smell of the chocolate cake baking inside the kitchen and my own mind finally entering that “away” state, which is much more real than my Skype status…