Raw

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Feelings. What are they and how you getย rid of them? How can they stop dictating your every thought? Why do they exist and how come you can not control them?

Loss is the word I feel for the last 7 years, be it people that are gone, time that has passed, life that has changed for all of us, love that was empty and pointless. Just loss. Loss of self, of dreams, of love, of lust, of needs, of …well… me.

It might seem funny, even crazy that I, the seemingly ok individual would say this. But the fact is that I can not even describe the pain I feel of being trapped inside myself right now, not being able to escape. An I do have many good reasons for it, so no, it’s not depression.

I got a glimpse of life lately, and that made me realize how far I was from that and how wrong I have been, letting time pass.

I can not describe the true thoughts in my head. Nor the details. I can only write what I write, raw, without any editing or worries about the impact.

I am just sorry that I am slowly loosing my patience and control.

I am also sorry that my sorrow may offend the truly “in need” people…

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