Raw

Feelings. What are they and how you get rid of them? How can they stop dictating your every thought? Why do they exist and how come you can not control them? Loss is the word I feel for the last 7 years, be it people that are gone, time that has passed, life that has changed…

A small step towards clarity…

I took an afternoon walk into the fields, just me and my camera (and, oh well, the bugs). It is amazing how nature has everything planned into perfection. Every little detail, every function, every curve and every edge. Nothing exists for no reason. I love how some delicate looking plants have such a strong pinch…

Fragile dreams…

I have a soul that likes to hide. Half in the light and half in some very dark shadows. These two extremes have somehow found an ephemeral balance to the point of a certain kind of numbness. Never before did I feel so lost in thoughts as I do now. And never before did I…

Thoughts by the fireplace…

Humidity has made its appearance this afternoon, although it is a gorgeous sunny November that actually feels like April. Sitting by the fireplace, just staring at the fire can make you think a little more deeply than usual and this is what is happening for me right now. I enjoy these moments with a cup…

Wondering aloud

I often go for a walk in the center of my city. With music in my ears and eyes wide open for details. It is when I do a lot of my thinking. It usually follows the music as well. And I walk and walk until some kind of resolution comes to my head. A…

It’s been six years

Hi dad. This is for you. Cause I know that you are out there somewhere and now that I am back home, your presence is more real than ever. I am missing you like that day. The trauma is gone but the gap is still there and now bigger than ever. Bigger when I achieve…

When life gives you lemons…

There are some days that are just happy days. Nothing special happening. Just calm, relaxing, stress free, usually sunny, happy days. I love when this happens. When you wake up in the morning with lemon-pie cravings and an Illy espresso to go with it. These days also tend to run fast and the evening comes…

I dreamed of…

I am often dreaming. Day-dreaming to be more exact. Its is not reality that I want to avoid. It is myself in this reality. Since I realised that I am not the best judge of me, I try to detour from my “real-life” conversations with myself and how “I do” in the everyday tasks and try…

Freedom

   The island didn’t always use to be a blessing for me. Well, blessing may be a little too strong of a word to use for such a thing, but in a way, it is. Now it is the place I get my freedom, but I used to hate coming here. Everything was surrounded by…

Calm feelings

    It is a mind blowing game, reality. An ever changing, constantly flowing river that we are in, showing its calm sides and its rough, wild streams, some small or large waterfalls that either end up on quiet lakes or take us further away to more rough streams. Sometimes we get washed ashore for a…